Saturday, August 1, 1987

August 1987 - from my journal

August 4, 1987
We went and got wood last night up in the Uinta's.  I have never spent a more miserable night.  Zac and I slept together in one sleeping bag with two blankets.  The ground wasn't too level and it was really bumpy.  We slept in dad's tent.  I got really cold.  I was praying for the dawn.  I didn't get much sleep. (Zac also peed all over me)  We got a nice load of wood on the trailer, and not a great lot on the truck because the tire was low.  It blew out just in Evanston, and we changed to the spare. Kerry got a good load, and so did Ben.  They cut all the trees down Monday night except two.  We've got a really good area for getting wood.  I don't know if I'll go again though.  Rog and I didn't get along too well.  It seems as though everything is going fine, and then I get upset at something, usually the kids.  Today it was because they spilled a pop in the tent.  I really blew up.  Rog made some comment to which I retorted, and then he said he never wanted me or the kids to go get wood again.  You know I get really upset at things and blow up. and then it's over and I'm sorry and I feel bad and I want to be forgiven.  But Rog holds a grudge, and so I get the silent treatment for a couple of days or more. At first this doesn't bother me when I'm still mad.  Then after awhile I want him to talk to me normal, and not look through me, and he knows I hate it, so he is so remote and silent to me.  I know I have a bad temper and I fly off the handle, and I know I need to control it better.  But you know what Rog will never figure out?  What I need most when I'm so upset and onry is a kiss and a hug and a kiss on my forehead and a whisper in my ear saying it's okay,  I love you, settle it down.  I don't think that would be him cowing down to me and kissing my but, and jumping when I say jump or being brow beat.  That's just what I need.  You know I was thinking maybe I should leave this out for Rog to see so he will talk to me again.  I know how I feel, but you know what?  I won't leave it out, because he doesn't care.  And it wouldn't matter.  We are so far apart sometimes.  I have to work tomorrow and Thursday.  The fair is this week.  The kids are entering their rabbits.  I'm scared to talk in church on Sunday.  Oh how I wish I could learn to live what I will preach.

August 5, 1987
Worked all day today, and I've got to tomorrow too.  Rog still isn't speaking to me, and I'm not going to beg him either.  It's miserable though, and lonely.  What a marriage.  Erika is going to the temple tomorrow to get her endowments.  Wonder if I'll ever get there?

August 9, 1987
Today is Mark's farewell at church.  I'm excited, but scared too.  I have to talk, and I'm kinda nervous.  I was almost in a panic this morning, but I feel better now.  I know God will help me and be with me so I won't be so frightened.  But when I get thinking of all the crowd that will be there and could be there, I get butterflies. Oh well, I guess I just have to not look at all of them as they come in.  Mark will go into the M.T.C. (Missionary Training Center) on Wednesday.  I guess I should write my talk down so there will be a record of it:

I'm happy to be here today, and I pray I'll be able to say the things that are in my heart.  I'm proud of Mark, and I know it's the right decision for him to go on a mission.  I know he'll be a great missionary.  These past weeks since he's received his call there has been a difference, an extra something you can't quite put your finger on in him.  He's happier, more considerate and compassionate.  I know I like being around him more than I ever have before.  I know it's our Heavenly Father's Spirit in him and I know he's closer to Him than he has ever been before.  We all know people like that,  that have something about them, something special, that we really look up to and would like to have in our lives.  I believe it is because they're close to our Heavenly Father, and they rely on Him and have developed a close and humble relationship with Him.  As I have read through my journal this past year, and have relived the happy and sad times, I find that when I was happiest and optimistic and everything was going great, was when I was getting up a little earlier and reading the scriptures and really talking to my Father in Heaven humbly and sincerely through prayer.  And the times when I was sad and down and everything seemed to be going wrong, I was not taking the time to really talk to my Father in Heaven.  I know this is why the Lord instructed the prophets to keep records and why President Benson has urged us to read the Book of Mormon daily.  Because we can see a whole civilization rise and fall.  We can see when they are obeying God and relying on Him and keeping close to Him they are prospering, and are a happy and peaceful people.  But as they become proud and uplifted in their hearts, they forget their God and so they have to be brought down to remember Him by wars and famine. Then they turn to Him again.  Sometimes as Latter-day saints we might seem overwhelmed by all the things we know we should be doing.  It is my testimony to you, that if you will rely on our Heavenly Father and develop a close relationship with Him, where you can go and talk to Him about anything and tell Him all your fears and concerns and heartaches, He will help you and comfort you and all things will be made easier, and you will be happier and joyful.  I would like to thank my family and my friends and teachers who have helped me to know my Heavenly Father and His love for me.  I will be eternally thankful. I pray each of us will be able to develop our own personal relationship with God.  I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

August 12, 1987
Today was a very special day!  We took Mark down to the M.T.C. It was great!  You could really feel the spirit.  I really didn't think it was too sad.  It was exciting!  Bridger and Diane Call drove Mark, Mom and Dad, and Tonya in their van.  Mandy, Zac, and I drove down with Erika.  There were 419 missionaries that reported today at the M.T.C.  18 of them would be learning Japanese.  It was so exciting!  I'm so proud of Mark!  He has changed so much.  I'm so proud!  He looked so handsome and valiant today.  Just like Nephi and  Moroni.  His prayer he received  Tuesday night when he was set apart by President Tonks was so special!  Also, his President down at the MTC is the greatest.  George Durrant.  He spoke at my Baccalaureate in 1979, and I have a book written by him.  "Someone Special Staring YOUth"  Sunday at church, Mark's farewell went really nice.  Tonya gave the opening prayer.  I talked next, then Bridger Call.  Then Zac, Amanda, Jason and Krista and Jennifer Preece, Luke and Sara Adams, and Stormy Tonks all sang "I Am A Child Of God"  Then Mom talked on Example, and then Dad talked.  Then Jeannette Jones sang "The Greatest Gift The World Has Known"  Then Elder Mark Dickson talked.  He spoke so well, and so powerfully.  My heart swells with pride!

August 19, 1987 - letter from Terri Frost
Dear Gwen, Hello, how is everybody doing?  Fine I hope.  We are both just great. Pat left for an operation out in the field for about 7 days, so I'm all by myself!  I can handle the daytime cuz he is gone in the daytime anyway.  I am going to have to find something to keep me busy at night though.  I clean the house, do the wash, and keep up on my soaps during the day.  At night we go somewhere.  Now, who knows.  I'm certainly not going to the movie by myself!  Well, we are still what you would call "furniture-less"  Yes, I sit on the floor with my pillow under my butt to watch television!  We are working on getting a couch and stuff though.  So are the kids ready for school?  How is Zach?  Is he excited for kindergarten?  Did you get your school shopping done?  I might have to convince Pat that he should take me shopping for school clothes, even though I don't go to school.  (Think it will work?)  We went to the beach a couple times last week, and we had lots of fun.  We have fun together, no matter where we are or what we are doing anyway!  Well, before I begin a book, I will let your eyes rest for now.  Give Roger and the kids our love!  Love ya lots, Terri   Pat says hello!

August 19, 1987 - Letter from Mark
Rog, Gwen, Zac and Mandy, How is everything?  Thanks for the letters everyone!! They were all great.  It is great to get letters and I expect to get more from you guys!!  The MTC is really fun.  It is hard work and I get frustrated sometimes, but I'm doing fine.;  This last week has gone very, very fast.  We work hard, but have allot of fun also.  My Japanese is coming along.  I am pretty smart you know!!  Just joking.  I am doing really well.  I've worked hard and study allot.  The food isn't bad either like they say.  I will feel it quite an accomplishment when I finally do make it to Nihon (Leave October 13th)  We are quite secluded here.  No weather information, sports, nothing, but we're too busy too care.  Have great people here and have fun.  Have made lots of friends.  How is everything?  When does school start?  When is the operation?  How did baseball team do?  How about St. Louis?  My prediction:  N.Y. Mets by 2 games in October.  Gotta run.  I love you guys.  Write back quickly.  Dickson Cho'ro'

August 22, 1987
It's Saturday night and everyone's in bed but me.  I can't sleep.  And there's nothing good on TV.  My house is clean, so here I am!  Tomorrow will be easy at Primary. I won't have to do anything because it was my month for the bulletin board and it's done.  Next month I conduct again, so maybe I'll prepare for it.  I really like my job in the Primary.  It has helped me allot.  Mark has written, and he is doing great at the MTC.  He is in the top of his class.  He is smart like me (HA-HA)  Me and Rog and the kids hauled a bunch of wood in today.  We need to get moving, because his operation's only 3 weeks away.  On the 28th of September on Zac's birthday, Rog gets his teeth all pulled and new dentures put in.  I am enjoying my work now more than I ever have.  We are doing BOE's (Board of Equalizations) and I have allot of responsibility.  Erika has moved back to Salt Lake City, and is ready to start teaching 2nd grade Monday.  The kids are excited to go back to school also.  Amanda will be in 2nd grade, and Zac in Kindergarten.  Zac also started soccer today too.  They are growing up so fast! Me, I'm doing okay I guess, ups and downs as usual.  We start Calvin Stephen's classes again on September 2nd and I am looking forward to them.  Got a letter from Terri (Linda's daughter) today, and she's doing fine.  Well, so much for tomorrow being easy!  Lori Birt just called and asked me to conduct for her!

August 22, 1987
Dearest Gwen & family, (my most faithful letter writer) along with mom, dad, Tonya Erika, Bridger, and Monica too!  How is everything?  Just received yours and dad's letter.  Everybody is amazed at all the letters I receive, but no one is more happier than I to get one, so I deserve them.  Right?   Everything is going fine.  I think my P-day is the busiest of all.  I still have to wash, study, eat, write letters, and go to class.  I've already been to the temple and to the mall with Chipman Cho'ro'.  The bank needs it's best two players back, huh?  Just joking.  When is your operation Rog?  I don't envy the EXTREME pain you're going to be in!  Another joke.  It probably won't even hurt.    Another joke.  It will probably be a little bit painful.  That is too bad about Dennis' girlfriend. (April Nelson, who eventually married Dennis (then they got divorced later because of Dennis’s infidelity) had a tumor, and had to have a hysterectomy before she even had any kids) I feel sorry for him and her.  I don't know Gary Stewart? (Gary Stewart is a boy I (Gwen) went to school with, who committed suicide.  He was hurt in a bicycle/car accident when we were in the 4th grade.  He was hurt terribly bad.  And has had a lot of physical/mental handicaps since that time)  Zac, when does school start?  Mandy, how smart are you now?  Can you read the newspaper yet?  My Nihongo is coming along.  I need to keep trying.  Sometimes it's frustrating.  I write terrible as you can see, but I'm hurrying.  I've gotta hurry.  Take care and I"ll see ya soon.  Keep the tegami's coming  Love, Mark

August 23, 1987 - Letter from Brenda
Roger, Gwen and kids, Hi!  Sorry I haven't written since we came home, but I've been busy resting my poor old hands before they have to start writing all sorts of things for school.  We start the 31st this year, instead of the 8th of September.  What a bummer, huh?  I am going to take Driver's Ed. the month of September.  So you better stay off the road for awhile.  Ha HA!  I am going to do Seminary too.  It starts at 6:00 a.m. in the morning before school.  This year, one of the people that lives by us is teaching it at their house for our branch only.  The Child's come home to Utah around the 20th of October, instead of the 1st of November.  That's great about the kid's rabbits!  Tell them I said Hi, and for them to mind their mom and dad.  It pays to mind, believe me!  Well, I guess I'll close for now.  Write when you can.  Love, Brenda.

August 27, 1987
Morning- Well, the kids have started school.  Amanda is in 2nd grade and her teacher is Dorothy Little.  Zac is in Kindergarten, his teacher is Evelyn Stevens.  They both like it allot!  Zac was so cute yesterday.  He was so excited, and he was so spiffed up and looking forward to school.  He didn't hold my hand as we were walking towards the school, but when we got inside the school he grabbed my hand and said, "Mom, I'm scared".  But as soon as we got in his class, he was right at home.  He has allot of his friends  in his class.  Jay Golden (Jonathan) Turner, Ladd Peterson, Brett Anderton, Broc Durrant, and Kristen Call.

Night- I've just read through most of my journal.  Boy what a joke!  Some of it's really good, and sometimes I sound really dorky.  I guess it would be pretty hard to understand for someone who's reading it, but I hope you won't judge me too harshly.  I have changed over the years as you can see.  But I don't feel this book tells all of me, because somethings are too private to write, and I don't want to share them.  But God know me and that's all that counts.

August 29, 1987 - Letter from Mark
Dear Mandy, How are you?  I am doing fine.  How is school?  How is Mr. Caron? (Manda liked a Caron kid)  I don't have any girlfriend here.  Just boyfriends.  Can you do any math yet?  Can you work this problem  4 - 2 = ?    9 + 4 = ?  If you can, you're smart, but if you can't you'll probably learn soon.  Do you and Zac still have boxing matches?  Well, I have to hurry, cause I have to do my wash.  I'm glad that you and Zac are my relatives.  Tell your mom to keep writing letters about all the gossip.  Tell your dad that the Mets are coming on.  See ya, Love, Mark Dickson Cho'ro'

August 29, 1987 - Letter from Mark
Dear Zac,  How is everything?  Are you still making jumps for your bike?  How is your friend Corky?  Do you still like that one girl?  Well, I'm having a good time here and wish I could see you.  I have new friends now who would think you're cool.  Are you excited to be in kindergarten?  You probably are studying pretty hard. My kindergarten teacher was Ms. Compton.  I'm sorry my letter is so short, but I have to hurry.  See you at the airport if you can make it.  Tell your mom and dad Hi, and thanks for the letters.  Love Dickson Cho'ro

August 29, 1987 - Letter from Darrin
Dear Rog, Gwen, and Mandy and Zac, How you guys been doing?  Sorry about not writing.  The reason I didn't write is because I didn't want to write to whimp Rog (ha-ha)  How are you Mandy and Zac?  Zac are you still saving cans?  Have you guys started school yet?  I start school Monday the 31st.  When I get back Zac, we will go hunting birds up on your hill behind your house, okay?  Well Rog, have you and Gwen been working hard lately?  When are you getting your knee operated on?  I can't wait until we get back home for good, I will be able to hunt deer and elk and everything.  And I will be able to drive too.  Only 10 more months, not even a year left on this island.  Brenda is going to start driving sometime next month, and if everyone want to stay alive, they better stay off the sidewalks.  (ha-ha)  Terri and Pat called us last night to tell my dad Happy B-day, and they talked to us for about a half-hour.  Well, today we are just sitting here during a typhoon and waiting for it to pass over.  Well, I better go for now so I will see you in 10 months.  I love and miss all of you guys.  Take care of yourselves, and take care of your knee, Rog!!  Love, Darrin  Write soon.
(then at the bottom of his letter, Darrin drew a picture of a street and a sidewalk, with a car driving down the sidewalk hitting the pedestrians.  He had everything labeled, and of course, Brenda was driving.  He had written off to the side:  Stay off the sidewalks when Brenda is near!)

August 31, 1987
This month has sure gone by fast.  Rog's operation will be here before you know it.  I feel good.  I have been walking and exercising.  The kids are enjoying school.  I am working allot lately. I got a raise to $5.29 per hour. (I look back on this wage now, and I laugh.  I think I started at maybe $4.85 per hour one year prior.  I had allot of responsibility, and was only making a pittance.  It was this way until 1990, when I finally got up to seven something.  This was after I took my appraisal courses.)

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