“If we keep no diary [journal], the path crumbles away behind us as our feet leave it; and days gone by are but little more than a blank, broken by a few distorted shadows. Life is all confined within the limits of to-day….”
Afterwards, outside with Treyson and friends, and Tagg and Joseph Belinski
Quite the ladies man !
The whole crew ! Kolston, Kroix, Joseph, Tagg, SCARY CLOWN, Treyson, Other Belinski brother (can't remember his name), and Payson Thatcher opted to stay home with Mom and watch a movie.
Our Family (minus Manda's in AZ), Shirlee, Blakeley, Grandma Ben, Grandma and Grandpa D, The Wardells, and Traci and family.
It was cold !
A special time to be together and Remember
This is what CJ posted on FB -
I’m not sure you ever get over the moment where your taken from the highest of highs, adding a new life to your family and having that immense love and hope for possibility and getting everyone adjusted to the new normal of being a family of six just to have it all stripped away in 12 hrs. How can you? I keep telling myself its been two years and I should be “better” but as I struggle to get out of bed or to even breathe at times I don’t think I will ever be “better”. That first year after Tenzin passed away I felt overwhelming love and support from everyone really It was so amazing to know how many love and care about me. I am not looking for pity now but there I times I want to scream He was REAL. As you watch the world get on with their lives you wish you could do the same but when your in the line of Costco and you get asked to donate to Primary Children’s and you write your deceased sons name on that paper balloon to be hung up for all to see you remember every moment of those 12 hours. It takes me right back to holding my sweet sweet baby who had just passed away and the moment to where my world crashed. So many times I look for the blog or post that helps me to feel not alone but I don’t fit into any “category” of grieving moms We had no clue about Tenzin’s heart defects and I felt that high that we had made it through delivery and that he was a Healthy baby on his way to wonderful future. That future is what I mourn along with him. The future where Thatcher gets to be the big brother I promised him he would be and the one where I’m chasing a toddler and changing bums and dealing with tantrums. I see so many futures everywhere I look and think that would be me. I am working so hard to be excited about this new future I will have without Tenzin here where I can hold him but still keep him in my heart. I don’t have the answer yet on how to do that so for now I will just try to get out of bed and feel the sun on my face and cry when I need to even in the line of Costco. I’m trying to cut myself some slack and be a good mom and wife and mom to my sweet Tenzin and do right by him by remembering and helping my boys to remember. I walk that fine line of wanting him to be in my thoughts with everything I do and also not wanting to bring up the pain. This journey is ongoing and I’m hoping to see more of the good things in life and learn how to have that balance. So even just for today I want try help bring joy through 💙Tenzins loss. If you can just give a smile or give some time or somehow just pay it forward let’s just try to make the world a sweeter place today in memory of one of the one of the sweetest angels! 💙
December 2007 - Landon fresh out of the CCM, meeting with his new mission president and wife.
22 months later - October 2009 - Just before he came home
9 years later - October 2018
Presidente and Hermana were in SLC to training on becoming temple and matron president.
They will be in charge of the new Trujillo Peru Temple when it opens soon.
Several missionaries were able to come and visit with them. It was a GREAT DAY !!
Zac got a deer tag in Wyoming this year, for both the bow hunt (and then if he didn't get one there), and the rifle. They practiced down at the property quite a bit. All the boys got in on the action.
Zac made a great backstop for the target - \helped to keep all the errant arrow from disappearing.
He was finally successful with the rifle near Evanston WY (He never was able to get even a shot with the bow)
Landon and kiddos on the first day of the rifle hunt here in UTAH last weekend. Bright wanted to go, and was such a trooper (although next time she says she'll do pedicures with mom)
They didn't get anything the first day. Maybe next time?
