May - August 1996

May

1 - cookout?

10 - Zac school fair (house he built)

10- Landon Centennial program

13 - Landon field trip to see his pen pal

15 - Zac fiberotomy

18 - Clean Grandma Tonks' yard

22 - Fieldtrip to Schumachers - Landon

25 - Got a goat "Moe"  
25 - Zac's steer died.

28 - Zac on the Honor Roll - 8th grade

29 - Landon's dance program (2nd grade)

30 - Last day of school

30,31 Manda went camping up at Tenielle's trailers

Our trip to Las Vegas in Spring of 1996

May 5, 1996

We returned yesterday from our trip to Las Vegas.  We left on Tuesday the 30th of April and returned on the 4th of May.  We (Roger, Mandy and I) went with Ben and LuAnn Rich, Bruce and Linda Frost, Randy and Lynette Hartman, their children, Heath, Brooke and Sommer.  Joni and Kerry Porter came down on the 1st of May and returned early in the morning of the 4th of May. We flew down on Delta airlines.  Our flight out of Salt Lake City left about 11:30 a.m., and we returned from Las Vegas about 1:15 p.m.  We stayed at the Excalibur Hotel and Casino.

April 30, 1996  (Tuesday)  We got there and took a shuttle from the airport to the Excalibur.  After checking in we walked around the Excalibur for awhile, and then went over to the MGM Grand Hotel and walked through it and  walked clear to the back to where the Grand Adventures Theme Park is.  We also went to the Luxor.  We walked down to Treasure Island and caught the tail end of the Pirate Show.  Rode trolley back and went to bed.

May 1, 1996 (Wednesday)  Rog, me, and Mandy took a trolley to Circus Circus and rode two rides.  Caught trolley back to Caesar's Palace and the Forum.  Ate at Planet Hollywood, watched the statue show.  Watched the Pirate Show at Treasure Island.  Saw the Olympic torch being carried down the "Strip"  Went to Harrah's,  caught trolley back.

May 2, 1996  (Thursday)  Went to MGM Grand Adventures, swimming at Excalibur, messed around Excalibur, motion rides, etc.

May 3, 1996 (Friday)  Went to Stratosphere by taxi.  Went back to hotel and watched movies.  Twelve Monkies and Dead Men Walking. Ate at the King Arthur's Tournament that night.

May 4, 1996 (Saturday)  Went home.

June

1  - June show

3 - Ground breaking ceremony at Holnam (for new expansion)

4 - Zac started working for Marv Dawson (He worked until football started in August, and then went back after wrestling, on February 3, 1997)

5 - Lagoon (County Officials Day)

6 - Pack meeting - Landon

7 - Landon's baseball starts

8 - Rog and Zac fix panels at fairgrounds

9 - Water is 16 1/4 feet down our wet well,

Dryfarm hay 195 bales

Grass 300 bales

Orson's 295 bales

11 - Meeting on the bond issue for the library at the Highland office building

11 - Landon ball game at Mt. Green.  Landon's coaches are Stan Nielsen and (  ) Hunsaker. 

13 - Meeting at Lion's Lodge on the bond issue for the library

17 - Roger ditch meeting

18-21 Assessor's Summer workshop in Kanab

21 - Water is 14 ft. down pipe in wet well

23 - Water is 10 ft. down 

23,25 Zac farm safety class

27 - Zac ortho, get braces off

28 - UAC board meeting in Richfield Utah, toured jail

2, 28,29 Morgala Days Rodeo

July

1 - Landon starts swimming lessons at Gwen Francis' pool

1 - Lee and Veloy leave for California

2 - Landon's interview with Bishop for baptism

5 - Landon's 8th birthday

6 - Landon's baptism

6 - Mom and dad back from California

8 - Kamp Kiesel (Landon  - cubscouts)

9 - Shower for Amy (Larry's wife) at Aunt Pam's

8-12 Zac to Scout camp out at Vernal and Flaming Gorge

12 - Erika has JABA (Bryan)

13 - work up to Grandma Tonks

17 - Put cows in field

19 - Larry and Amy get married

20 - Demo Derby

21 - Uncle Blaine died

24 - Party at mom's

24 - Mandy goes to St. George on bus to visit Tami Carlos who is living there with her mother

26,27,28 We go to Jackson Hole with the Prescott's

29 - Amanda runs away from home to Oceanside California

30 - The absolute worst day of our lives, we finally find Amanda, and fly down to get her on the last flight (9:30) to San Diego.  Sleep at a motel, fly out at 8:30 in the morning to come home.

August

Orson's 155 bales

1 - Steer up to fairgrounds

2 - Show steers

3 - Steer sale

5 - Preconditioning football starts for Zac

10 - Tend Erika's kids, she's got a reunion

12 - County party at Cherry Hills

14 - Registration for High school for Mandy and Zac

15 - Mary Ann's (my cousin) Tyler is killed in bicycle accident

(Mom and dad are gone on vacation)

17 - Ben's 70th birthday party

21 - School starts

24 - Maroon and White Scrimmage

24 - Landon starts football (Mitey Mites - Kaysville)

27 - Me physical

August 15, 1996
(This is a letter I wrote to my cousin Mary Ann, (Uncle Larry's daughter) (Uncle Larry is my mom's brother) when her 8 year old son Tyler was killed in a bicyle/car accident on August 15, 1996)

Dear Mary,  I just wanted to tell you again, how sorry I am about Tyler.  Even though we don't see each other that often, the times we have gotten together over the years, I have noticed what a good mother you are to your children.  I know that Heavenly Father knows this too, and I know you will be able to see and raise Tyler again someday.  I know that our children, Ambure and Tyler, were too perfect to live on this earth.  They came to earth and completed their missions.  They don't have to go through all the pain and suffering of this world.  I know this doesn't make it any easier to let them go, and to know that we won't be able to see them again for awhile.  Sometimes, the only comfort you can have right now, is knowing that Tyler isn't in any pain or hurt or sorrow.  Time passes in heaven so fast, and for him, it will only seem like a short while until he is with his mom again.  Like I told you the other night on the phone, time does heal the awful pain you are feeling now.  You won't forget him, ever, but in time, you won't feel the empty, hopeless way you are feeling now.  It has been almost 18 years since we lost Ambure.  It took awhile, but I can now look back without any pain at all, just a sadness and regret that it happened.  I have people tell me that they can't believe I could have survived losing a child, and that they could never cope with that.  I guess you cope with what you have to, huh?   There are different ways of grieving, Mary.  Don't let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong.  Everybody grieves differently.  If you need to talk to a family counselor, don't be afraid to do that either.  Also, your kids, maybe especially Mike, might really have a hard time with this.  When my sister Tonya died, my Mandy, who is now 16 years old, was 8 at the time.  She took it really hard, and looking back now, I wish we would have taken her hurt and anger more seriously, and got her some help.  I don't mean to tell you what to do, just maybe some things to watch for.  I hope you don't think I'm butting in.  I just want to help.  Take care, and if you ever just need to talk, please call me.  Sometimes it just helps to have a shoulder to cry on.

Love, Gwen

August 15, 1996 (postcard from Mom and Dad on vacation)

Dear Rich Family,  We climbed down to these ruins (Anasazi cliff dwellings) today.  In fact we spent 12 hours seeing just about all there was to see at the Park. (Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado) We saw 2 three-point deer while waiting to buy tickets.  The velvet was still on their horns.  We miss all of you, but with the time going by so fast we will be home before you know it.  Love Grandma and Grandpa.

August 20, 1996

I've been putting off writing in my journal.  It seems there is too much to catch up on.  The kids start school tomorrow.  Zac will be in 9th grade, Manda will be a Junior, and Landon will be in 3rd grade.  Landon has Mrs. Holman for a teacher.  I hope it goes okay.  I'm tired all the time.  I need to talk to Dr. McClellan, and see if he will give me those new diet pills everyone is on.  Mandy ran away on July 30, 1996 to California.  It cost us over $800.00 to get her home.  Rog and I flew down and got her and flew back.  We are going to counseling.  Sometimes I think it's all such a joke.  My life that is.  I have allot of bitter feelings towards Mandy and Roger both.  We have found out that Mandy drinks, (we knew that, but now I find out that she smokes!  That just about kills me.   Apparently she met this guy, Tim Fraser, on the bus to visit Tami on the 24th of July.  He's 22, according to her.  He has called a few times.  Sounds mostly like a bum to me.  He had a mohawk, and tattoo clear across his chest. She says, she'll never be what I want her to be, so screw it!  All I want for her is to be happy, and she's definitely not that around me.  She says that all I've said to her since she ran away, is I love you this, and I love you that, and that she's sick of hearing it, and how can I make up for 16 years of not showing her I love you.  Boy, what a failure I must be.  Well I can guarantee that she won't ever have to hear me say those three words to her again. Boy what a terrible mom I am.  Sometimes I just think if I went away, it would be better for the whole family.  I'm so tired all the time.  Tired of it ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

August 21, 1996

Well the kids started back to school today.   They all seemed pretty excited. Zac was probably the most nervous, starting into High School.  I hope the day went well for all of them.   I hope Manda doesn't sluff, sluff, sluff all the time.  I hope she pulls her head out and realizes that she needs to get with it.  Zac I don't worry about, except that he will get in with the wrong crowd and end up smoking like Rog and Mandy.  Landon has his first football game Saturday at 3:30 with Kaysville.  Rog doesn't really like his coaches at all, but he never puts forth any effort to coach, so I say live with it.  He says it's because of his job, but he could do it if he really wanted to, with some help from others.  It's just a cop out as far as I'm concerned.  Zac likes football too.  He'll be on the Freshman team.  Manda?  Well what can I say about her?  We don't talk much.  Neither one of us likes each other very much.  I get so depressed sometimes.

August 23, 1996

Today we went out to the Mt. Green area again and did the reappraisal.  An article was in the paper (The Blab) that I wrote about the Mt. Green reappraisal.  I wish I could get on up at Summit County, flexible hours, less hours, more pay, same benefits, less stress and pressure.  I need to talk to Barbara Kresser, the Summit County Assessor about it.  Mandy and I probably said less than 25 words to each other today.  She is out tonight with friends.  I think she is going to die like Tonya did.  I feel better tonight that I did last night.  I am really tired though.  I'm going to Dr. McClellan next Tuesday.  I want to get on those diet pills.  I need to lose about 80 pounds.  Roger is watching bull-riding on TV, and the boys are in bed.  Who knows when Mandy will be home.  She said 12 or 1.  It is so depressing.  I wish she wouldn't do what she does, or hang out with who she hangs out with.  I don't want to change her, but I guess maybe I do.  She always says, "I'll never be the kind of daughter you want me to be!"  I don't want her to be a Molly Mormon like _________ and __________, but WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY does she have to be a radical, smoking, drinking, wild partier????  It is my fault I know.  Somehow it just is.  I haven't been the kind of mom I should.  I have rejected the Lord one too many times.  And now my kids are suffering for it.  Rog doesn't ever want to talk about it.  He buries his head in the sand really good.  I wonder sometimes what would have happened if we hadn't gotten married.  I was thinking today, that if I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have any kids at all.  I don't think, even if I knew all that I knew now, that it would change anything about how I have been, and how I have raised my kids.  I screwed up and AM screwing up big time.  I just should have never had any kids.  I have messed them up real bad.  I hope the Lord will blame me, and not them.

August 24, 1996

Zac and Landon both had their first football games.  Landon played at Kaysville at 3:30.  They lost 12 to 13.  They played a good game for their first time.  Landon got to play almost all of the time.  I felt bad for the boys who didn't get to play as much.  That is what we used to go through with Zac when he was littler.  Zac spent all day doing football stuff.  He sold Trojan Gold Cards this morning, and then had a football barbecue.  He played on the Freshman team tonight at 6 p.m. in the Maroon and White Scrimmage.  He was on the Maroon team and they won.  He played offense and defense.  He is on the line and does a great job.  I video taped both of the games.  Manda worked today for the first time since she ran away.  I wonder how it went for her.  Of course, we haven't talked to her.  She left a note saying she was going out... and won't be home until 12:30 or 1 a.m.  She is going downhill.  I wish she could pull it out.  It's too bad that she will be totally addicted to cigarettes, and if she's anything like her dad, she'll never be able to quit the habit.  It just makes me sick, and I blame Rog.  I can't help it.  It totally ticks me off!!

August 30, 1996

Well, one month ago today, we were in San Diego, picking up Manda from her little running away episode.  This last month has been really rough.  We are more in debt now than ever before. Our Visa is maxed totally out with airplane ticket bills, and it seems we owe everybody something.  And to top it off, I bought a camper tonight for $600.00.  My car bill from Wally's was $384.00.  It needed new (2) tires and a new muffler, and they had to rebuild the tail pipe.  Manda is out tonight with her friends, down at the Madsen place.  Roger is working late tonight at the bakery.  Bread doesn't get out till 11 p.m.  He'll probably be home about 12:30 or so.  Don't know WHEN Manda will be home.  Jill Boydstun called her last night, and Katie quit, so she will be going back to work at the library sooner than she thought.  That is good.  Supposedly Bruce will have the car finished this weekend.  This is the one we are buying for Manda, and she will supposedly pay us back?!?!?!?  Wait and see!  Zac played good ball last night.  Their first game was against Grantsville.  They lost in sudden death overtime.  6 to 0.  He starts on Offense.  I'm glad he gets to play.  Some of the kids didn't even get to play at all.  Landon has his second game tomorrow at 3:30 at Morgan.  I can't remember who he plays.  I'm going to see a psychologist tomorrow over at the clinic.  I had an appointment with Dr. McClellen last Monday.  He gave me a complete physical, and spent 1 1/2 hours with me.  He did the blood work, pap smear, breast exam, everything. He is really nice.  I'll never go back to my gynecologist again.  I guess we are going to switch my blood pressure medicine, as this Norvasc that I'm on now is making me retain water.  I have been on a water pill and Potassium since Tuesday, but can see no improvement.  Dr. McClellan wants me to double up on the water pill and Potassium, and then next week when I run out of my prescription for Norvasc, he will switch me to another pill for my high blood pressure.  When he examined me, my temperature was 99.9, and my white count was high when he checked my blood.  I can't help but wonder if I have a terrible disease, or cancer that I'm going to die from.  I am really mixed up.  I guess that's what the psychologist is for!!!  Hope it will help me.  I haven't had a Pepsi since Monday.  And it hasn't killed me this week to give them up.  I wish I could just lose some weight.  Everybody and their dog is going on this new diet pill now.  I wish I could, but I can't until I get my blood pressure under control.  It was 140 over 110 when he examined me Monday.  Well, the boys are in bed, Roger is still to work, Mandy is out partying, and I'm going to bed.  I'm beat!!!