February
1986
3
- Shower?
5
- Zac graduation (Preschool- Ardath Peterson?)
10
- Eye appt. me
12
- visit teach
14
- Started pill again
17
- Grandpa's birthday
February
2, 1986
Well,
I have just finished going over the family home evening lesson. It is titled, " I AM A CHILD OF
GOD." These lessons are good for me
as well as the kids. It's hard sometimes
to comprehend that all the children in the world, all the people ever born,
even all the millions and billions of people, are all Heavenly Father's
children, and he knows every one. Each one was born to him and our Heavenly
Mother as spirit children. It is hard to
understand, but our knowledge is so limited and when the millennium comes,
there will be an explosion of knowledge and we'll be able to understand and
comprehend things that we can't now. I
am trying to understand and believe that God loves me. I need to gain a stronger testimony. I will try and never give up and hope that
God will be merciful to me. I will keep
praying and trying to improve myself and my testimony and pray and hope that I
can achieve eternal life in the Celestial Kingdom.
February
4, 1986
Today
was a great day. I am truly happy. I went to breakfast with some of my friends
at work. We are going once a month for
breakfast for all the ones who have birthdays that month. Arlene Christensen and I had them in
January. Work went well. I have written to the government for
applications to apply at H.A.F.B (Hill Air Force Base). There are four announcements open until
February 28, 1986. Our house plans are
going no where. Roger doesn't seem to
want to get going. I'm gonna quit
bugging him. It just causes
contention. Rog and Amanda are in
bed. So is Mark. Zac and I are watching The Empire Strikes
Back. I'm reading the Doctrine and
Covenants and exercising and writing in my journal. Zac is practicing writing his name. I found a scripture in the D & C that I
just love. It is: D & C Section 88 Verse 63.
Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto
you; seek me diligently and ye shall
find me; ask and ye shall receive; knock and it shall be opened unto you.
This
comforts me. I want to draw unto the
Lord and be near to Him. I know He loves
me and I will keep going and trying and never give up. I want to be happy through the eternities and
I want this for Roger and my kids also.
I learned a new word, "felicity" it means "great happiness" I know that if a person lives the way they
should they can have this felicity FOREVER.
I know Heavenly Father answers prayers.
I've never really prayed for an answer before that I needed really
bad. But I did the other night and I
waited and listened, REALLY LISTENED for an answer and I received one. As clear as can be a still small voice came
into my mind and repeated over and over words that brought so much comfort to
my soul. I know Heavenly Father is
watching over me and LOVES me. I will go
on and never never never give up.
February
9, 1986
I
wish I could write more in my journal. I
sure do wish allot. I know that it's
all up to me. I'm the one in charge of
my destiny. Sometimes I get down, but I pull myself up and keep on going and trying and
never ever am I going to give up. Things will all work
out. I'm glad there is forever. It's okay.
Everything will be alright. We
went to church today. It was a good day. Started out great!! Kids love to pay their tithing. Roger and I are paying ours also. I made an apple pie and roast and vegetables
for dinner. Should have been called
apple mush. I'm about 10 pounds
overweight. Tomorrow is D-day. (Diet
Day)
February
11, 1986
I
feel as though my life is back on the right track. It's taken me 25 years to finally realize how
I can be eternally happy. These last 10
years have been rough for me spiritually, but I'm pulling myself up and out of the
fog. I may get down, and I won't dwell
on my shortcomings, there are so many it's depressing. I'm going to be optimistic and never give
up. I hope God will be merciful. I need to try
harder with my kids. To teach them
patience, and kindness, and that God is near and listens and answers prayers. I have many things to be thankful for.
February
19, 1986 - Letter from Mom in California
Dear
Gwen, Roger and kids,
Sorry
I have been so slow in writing you. I
have been extra busy at work trying to get everything caught up and in
order. I'm still working on it. On Wednesday (Jan. 22nd) I spent most of the day in orientation and am
now a permanent Hughes employee. I have
been taking a computer class the past three weeks (Beginning, Intermediate and
Advanced), and hope it will help me with my work on the Systel (the name of the
computer I work with). I really enjoy my
work. The people here are really nice to
work with, and are so helpful and thoughtful.
I haven't met any other L.D.S. people in the office, so guess there
aren't any. I just got a new IBM
Wheelwriter 5 typewriter (electronic). It is sure beautiful and I am really
getting spoiled.
Dad
has been given a new project at work that should keep him busy until
September. He is happy for this. At least he now has something that he can
really get involved in. He is still
teaching the High Priests and doing Home Teaching. He has been given a new family (a mother and
her two sons -- 12 & 14) They were
baptized last week, and Dad was one of the speakers at the baptism. They're from the San Francisco area. We picked them up a couple of Sunday's ago
and took them to church as their car had broken down. This will give him a total of four, as one of
his other families just moved to the Anaheim area.
We
are surely getting our eyes opened out here on the way people live. To so many, it seems that their families mean
very little to them. The people that we
work with have such different life styles than ours, and so many have been
divorced or are not married and don't plan to marry. There is allot of inactivity in the church,
but maybe it is just the area we are living in (down close to the beach).
I'm
really enjoying teaching the Cultural Refinement lessons in Relief
Society. I met with a member of the
Stake Presidency last week to have my temple recommend signed. We haven't been to the temple for endowments
yet, but have been for sealings a couple of times.
We
had Stake Conference last weekend. Dad
gave the closing prayer and did very fine.
I sang in the Relief Society Choir. I'm glad Erika was there to sit with
Tonya. Mark very conveniently forgot his
church clothes. We finished Tonya's
quilt for her New Beginnings Program and it really turned out beautiful. She is very proud of it and had allot of
compliments.
Tonya
has found herself a very close girlfriend, and the two of them are
inseparable. Michelle Powell is in the
same grade, but a little older than Tonya.
She is quite the talker, and is larger than Tonya, but they get along
great. She and Tonya are both officers
in the Key Club and are trying to get everything worked out for a convention
that is coming up in April. The two of
them have also signed up to be candy stripers at the hospital that is over by
Tonya's school (they work on Sunday
afternoons). The semester finished a couple of weeks ago, but
we haven't gotten Tonya's grades. I hope
we won't be surprised too much.
We
had the missionaries over for dinner (supper to us). There are two assigned to our ward and two to
another ward, but they are all living together at the present time so we
invited all four of them over. Tonya
didn't know how she was going to like it, but she found out that they were just as normal as the rest of us, and things
went very well. They are from Northern
England, Ohio, Idaho, and Sandy, Utah, (but originally from Los Angeles). I cooked a turkey (the one we received from
Hughes for Christmas), and they really seemed to enjoy it.
We
had a good time at Disneyland when Hughes and General Motors had their merge
party. Dad and I went on a few of the
rides and looked at the cars they had on display. Tonya and Michelle went their way, and also
had a good time. We had a nice meal,
compliments of Hughes, and a relaxing evening, even if it did go until 1
a.m. It was sure hard to get up the next
morning and go to work.
In
spite of the rainy weather, things are beautiful down here. We went for a short ride a week ago and
enjoyed seeing the flowers that are beginning to bloom (petunias, roses,
pansies, etc.). Dad and I stopped at a
store with a garden shop and noticed all the veg. plants and flowers they have
that are ready for planting. Dad didn't
say much, but I'm sure he will miss gardening this summer. I'll bet you and Roger won't.
Our
Stake Center is scheduled to be torn down this next week now that stake
conference is over. We have three wards
meeting in our church house, but two more will be added as soon as the state
center is no longer available. The two
extra wards should only be with us for a couple of months until the Lawndale
Stake Center is completed and then they will go there.
We
are all fine and hate to see the time passing so fast. Tonya has mixed emotions--she loves it down
here and doesn't want to leave, but as soon as she hears from someone back in
Morgan she wishes she was there. Dad and
I are really enjoying it and are tempted to stay if everyone wasn't in Morgan
(and of course he has the commitment with the college).
We
are glad Mark and Erika came down. Dad
hated to call them and tell them not come, but he has turned into such a
worrier. Thank goodness the weather
turned out better than we expected. We
were so surprised to hear that you are having so much trouble with the water in
Morgan. It is bad in places here in
California, but it hasn't bothered us yet.
Mark
told us that Amanda has lost some teeth.
Is she having a hard time eating?
Hope she is over her colds by now.
How was Zac's graduation from Mrs. Peterson's Nursery School? Have you or Roger heard anything from Hill
Field yet?
Saturday
night our ward is having a progressive dinner (about 50 people will be
involved). They are going to begin and
end at our place. Thank goodness I don't
have to feed all of them, just furnish a pie.
Tonya doesn't know where we are going to put all of them, but I told her
we could all just stand. We are planning
on going to Palm Springs next Saturday, March 1st.
Well,
guess I had better close so I can get this letter in the mail before another
week goes by. We love you all very much, and wish you could be with us again
for a visit. See you in six months.
Love
Mom and all
February
20, 1986
Well
I'm kinda slacking off on my writing. I've
been so tired lately. I think it's the
"Pill" I'm taking. It's
supposed to make your body think it's pregnant and I'm always tired when I'm
pregnant. I think I'll try it for
another month, then if I'm still dragging, then I'll try something else. We had a nice Valentines. Rog and the kids sent me flowers. The kids had fun passing out their
valentines. Mark and Erika went to
California over the weekend. There has
been really bad flooding in Morgan on the 17, 18, 19th. The county has been declared a disaster
area. Peterson Creek, Deep Creek and
Hardscrabble Creeks were hardest hit.
Wilkinson's reservoir was in danger of breaking. It's a third as big as East Canyon. The worst is over now. Poor Uncle Norris and Grandpa and Grandma
Dickson's place has been a river.
Grandma's brother Golden Porter died Sunday the 16th of February 1986.
(Grandma had to be carried by men from her front porch to the car on the street
because of the water that was running through the yard) We went and looked at Stan and Sue Rees'
house tonight.(They have hot water heat running through tubes in the floor,
and we were thinking of doing the same thing.
Their's is powered by a boiler and solar panels. Our plan was to have ours be powered by a
water jacket in a wood -burning stove)
Saturday we are going to a Solar place in Salt Lake City. We are getting our bids together now for our
new house. Work is going fine. Boring sometimes, but fine. I've sent in applications to H.A.F.B. If I can get a "4" (grade-wise)
I might take it. Sometimes I feel as
though I'm on a roller coaster.
Basically I'm happier now than I have been in years. But I long for more happiness and joy. I CAN have all I want. It is possible. I just need to live my life as best I
can. I won't ever give up. I pray God will love me and forgive my
sins. I hope and pray I am worthy enough
to reach the Celestial Kingdom. I want
to do what's right.
February
26, 1986
Today
I stayed home from work. I was up all
last night with Zachary. He had a bad
ear ache. He was fine today though. It has been beautiful weather just like
April, and it's only February. It will
be a real bummer to go back to winter.
We took a water sample down to Weber Basin for testing today. We'll know the results tomorrow. We are getting all our bids collected and it
looks as though we will borrow $50,000, plus put down $8,000 of dad's
money. We still need excavating,
appliances, cabinets, carpets, linoleum, heating and cement work bids. All of these together can't go over $17,000. I took off work yesterday for a few hours and
we went to Precision Built Homes, Artistic Woodcrafting (for cabinets),
Interstate Brick and Pioneer Door. Hope
we can get everything squared away in another month and apply for the
loan. Haven't heard anymore from
H.A.F.B. I liked staying home
today. I could get used to it really
easy. I hope I don't have to work full
time for the rest of my life. I want 2
more children. I feel so empty at times.
I would have been 6 1/2 months pregnant by now WOW!!! (if I hadn't
miscarried) Life goes on. I am happy. I want to be closer to my Heavenly Father and
gain a stronger testimony. I need to be
kinder and more patient with my family and give my kids and husband the love
and attention they deserve and need. I
have to STOP putting myself first.
