September
1982
16
- Disney on Ice
28-
Zac's 1st birthday
September
6, 1982
I'm
writing this in RED, so it will stand out.
Yesterday I made 3 goals.
1. Pray
faithfully EVERY morning and night.
2.
Pay a full tithing.
3. Read the Book of
Mormon. I hope to be doing ALL of these
faithfully by December 31, 1982.
So far,
I've prayed yesterday night and this morning and I'll pray tonight. My biggest problem is forgetting Here are some more goals.
1.
Have family prayer
2.
Say prayers on our meals
3.
Family home evening
4.
Pay budget $10.00 month, and Fast Offering $5.00 month
5.
Fix good meals
6.
Fall houseclean every room
7.
Be PATIENT
8. Read scriptures everyday
9.
Do Genealogy
10.
Save money to buy a house
11.
Pay all debts to bank
12.
Treat Roger with love and always think eternally of him.
I
hope that within a year, I have accomplished or am trying to accomplish the
things listed above. I have been so
unhappy this past year, even with Zac. I
would dare say I haven't prayed 5 times.
I've got to make a turn around somewhere, sometime. I can't keep putting it off any longer.
September
8, 1982
Well,
so far the past two days have been okay.
Heavenly Father has really helped me out these past two days. I have been more patient with the kids and I
haven't snapped at Roger like I usually do.
I got 3 books at the library and they were all GOOD books.
1.
Without Reservation (about Lamanite
placement program)
2.
Outstanding, Uplifting Stories about Latter-day Saint Women
3.
I'm Angry! (a book about anger and how to control and analyze your angry
feelings)
I
really hope I can keep this up. As soon
as Roger gets his check Monday, I'll ask him if he cares if we pay tithing
first. I've got to start reading the
Book of Mormon. I will read 5 pages
tonight, and try to keep it up EVERY day until I finish it. I'm going to pray tonight that I can start to
lose weight. I know that sounds dumb,
but what I mean is for god to help my willpower. I know I have to eat less and exercise. It's just so hard to get up and 6:00 in the
morning and exercise with Joni on T.V.
Roger is to work. He left at 2:00
this afternoon, and he'll be home at 1:30 a.m. this morning (in about 4
hours) Well, I better close for now,
I've got a bunch of wash to put away.
September
10, 1982
Well,
today started out so crappy! It rained
really bad starting about 5 a.m. this morning, and like a dope, I didn't roll
up my car windows last night. I was
gonna drive the truck, but Rog hadn't taken the 3 wheeler or golf clubs
out. Boy, I REALLY ! blew up. I guess it's because I've been bottling
everything up inside and trying to be so patient with everybody. Well anyway, I hope it's all out of my system. After I apologized to Roger, everything
improved. I worked half a day today,
then went up to Grandma Dickson's and she helped me cut out my psychedelic
striped dress. I finished it
tonight. I'm really proud of
myself. Sommer's birthday was 2 days
ago. Terri's is tomorrow, and Tonya's is
the 15th. We're probably going down in
the morning and get presents. In only 18
days our baby boy Zachary will be a year old.
To think!? I never wanted a boy!
Boy I sure didn't know what I'd be missing! He is so cute. He has VERY blonde hair and dark eyes (grey?)(no,
they turned out to be PRETTY green) He already has 3 scars on his head
where he's fallen. He crawled at 5
months and walked at 9 1/2 months. He's
running all over now, and I'm probably gonna take his bottle away in the next
week or two. (I nursed Zac until he got his teeh, then he started biting me
and I had to quit.)
I've
been praying regularly morning and night, and I hope God will be patient with
me as I struggle to improve myself. I think
I'll set some goals. One specific one to work on each week, then rotate.
Rotating
goals Everyday goals
Genealogy Mealtime prayers
Baby
books Mandy's
prayers
Crocheting Family home
evening (weekly)
Sewing
Scriptures!!!!
Cleaning
Picture
Albums
September
11, 1982
I
just finished my dress.. The hem and belt were all that were left. I never even
imagined I'd be done with it by now.
Thanks to Grandma Dickson who helped me cut it out. I love her so much, I hope she and Grandpa
live 10 more years, PLUS! She is the
most GIVING women I know of. She loves
my kids and gives us so much. She has
helped me with my sewing whenever I need her.
Grandma made Zac 2 pairs of pants just this past month, and I know she's
making Amanda a little dress jumper so she won't feel left out at Zac's
birthday. That's so typical of her. Always thinking about others, and how to make
them happy. Today after we got Roger off to work, me and the
kids went to Ogden. I turned in my S
and H green stamps and I had 10 1/2 books.
I brought a catalog home pick something out. We went to Chuck E. Cheese next door
afterwards, and Amanda got a big kick out of it. Then we went to K-mart and bought birthday
presents. Tonya and Terri got
leg-warmers, Sommer a puzzle, Zac a nerf football from Amanda, and me a new purse
for $4.33 on sale. We didn't see Linda
and her family because they've gone to the State Fair, but it's Terri's
birthday and we'll give her her present tomorrow. We finally went out to Lynette's and Amanda
had a blast eating cake and playing with the kids. Joni and Kerry were there also. Lynette has been sewing for her and her kids
too. Boy, I'm beat, I better quit.
September
12, 1982
Today
was Sunday and it was great!! I was
happy all day and the kids were well
behaved. I guess when I'm more patient
it rubs off on them. Last night Amanda
fell asleep on the floor. Zac was still
awake and was out in the kitchen with me.
He disappeared for awhile and when I went to look for him, he was in
laying flat out on top of Amanda kissing her all over her face. It was so cute! He is such a lovable baby. Today while I was playing piano in Primary,
Zac kept bothering me and Kendra Tucker Rees picked him up and took him out. He
cried so hard he threw up all over Linda McClellan, the Primary President. What a kid!
Amanda loves her nursery class, she is such a doll. After church I had
an inservice meeting and I handed my goal sheet to Dorothy Little, so now I
feel that I must work extra hard not to let myself, God, or Dorothy down. Later tonight I also attended a fireside
where Connie and Dean Haney, Chet Adam's sister and her husband, spoke about
their lives. They recently went through
the temple. It was very nice and
informative. Erika came over tonight and we had a long nice talk. We are really close now. I asked her to promise that if Rog and I
never make it to the temple, that she would raise our little Ambure in the
millennium. I've gotta exercise
now. I better end.
September
13, 1982
Today
it has rained almost constantly.
Tomorrow it's suppose to be worse.
I guess summer is officially over.
Amanda and I made cookies today.
Dorothy Little called tonight because I forgot to write my name on my
goal sheet. I was embarrassed. I don't know why I feel this way, but I guess
I didn't really want her to know I wasn't praying, paying tithing, or reading
the Book of Mormon. I'm going to get a
red marker at work tomorrow, so I will start reading a chapter or 5 pages a
night. Amanda and Zac were pretty good
kids today. I love them so much. I'm fixing my new dress tonight. I have to tighten the sleeves. Amanda wants to draw a picture on the rest of
this page.
September
14, 1982
Today
I haven't been doing too good at work. I
listened to two dirty jokes, then laughed.
I swore a couple of times and got mad too. Roger wouldn't pay tithing out of his
check. I had the check written out and
everything, and he made me void it. I didn't get mad because I don't want to
alienate him any further. He says to
wait until we aren't so broke to pay it.
Tomorrow we are going to the Uinta's to get wood. Me and Rog, Linda and Bruce, Van Jeppson, and
Diane and Francis Child. I've got a
roast in the oven. I guess we are going
to bed, and I'll get up in a couple of hours to turn it off.
September
15, 1982
Today
was Tonya's birthday. She's twelve years
old. She is so busy. She takes gymnastics in Ogden 3 days a week,
and plays soccer and is a cheerleader for one of the little league teams. We gave her a pair of leg-warmers.Today we
went and got wood up in the Uinta's,
Rog and I, Linda and Bruce and Van Jeppson. I forgot to pray last night and this morning,
and although I read a church book (Seeker of the Gentle Heart) I also listened
to undesirable comments and jokes all day, and I wasn't very spiritual. I'm really disappointed in myself, mentally
and spiritually. But my physical bod is
improving. I'm down to 125 pounds. Only 10 more until a new dishwasher. Roger had better plan on giving me one for
Christmas, because I'm not gonna quit!
Heavenly Father's helping me out ALLOT!
Rog and I both work tomorrow.
Erika will tend the kids.
Tomorrow night we're going down to see "Walt Disney's World on
Ice" at the Salt Palace in Salt Lake City.
Mom and Erika and Tonya and me and Amanda are going. Rog will tend Zac. Mrs. Terry died a couple of day ago. She was a nice neighbor. Everyone will miss her very much. Better close for now.
September
18, 1982
Twelve
days since I started my goals and already these past few days I've had doubts
and the feeling of "What's the use?"
I know it's just the devil working on me. I bet 95% of my problem is
that I forget to say my morning prayer and ask God to help me make it through
the day. Last night Rog went with some
of his friends from the bakery and went to a bar. He didn't get home until 2:00 a.m. I went to bed. It sure is depressing. These last few days I have so many bad
feelings towards him. Sometimes
it seems SO hopeless. I've been doing
really good with my exercises. I haven't
missed a day since last Thursday. We
have all been taking medicine for pin-worms.
Only Amanda had them, but we all have to be treated. I was sick all afternoon, like I was gonna
throw up. Rog and Amanda are asleep on
the floor now, and Zac is in his bed.
I'm gonna go pray and start reading the Book of Mormon.
September
23, 1982
Today
(Thursday) I stayed home from work.
Erika called last night about 10:00 p.m. and said she couldn't tend, and
I didn't feel all that red hot either. I
thought I was coming down with strep throat, but I started on penicillin and
I'm feeling allot better. I found the
kids a new babysitter for sure. It's
Debbie Mortenson. She and her husband
and kids live across the street from mom and dad. We went there and visited today. Amanda loved it. I think she'll be really good with them. Rog left at 10:00 p.m. for work. I'm writing this at about midnight. I housecleaned the kids room Monday, and
rearranged it. Zac didn't have a bottle
at all today. I'm really beat. I guess I'll hit the sack. I read a bit of the Book of Mormon
tonight. I'm at Lehi's and Nephi's
dreams while they were in the desert.
Amanda was so cute tonight. We
love her and Zac so much. He'll be 1
year old in 5 days.
September
28, 1982
Zac
Rich at 1 year. Zac is such a happy, nosy, rambunctious little thing. His
favorite work is MOO. When ever he sees
any animal, that is all he can say. Zac
plays by himself allot, and he can keep himself entertained. He has the most mischievous grin. He screws his face up and shows all his
teeth. His hair is so blonde, and he
already has a bunch of scars on his face because he's always climbing and
falling. He loves to pester Amanda and
tease her. But he won't bath without her
in there with him. He still has his
bottle, but he's gradually giving it up.
He especially loves his Grandpa Dickson (Lee) and Uncle Mark and cousin
Darrin Frost, and Great-Grandpa Dickson (Reed).
We all love him very much. He has
a temper when he doesn't get his way, but he can be loving also. Right now he loves his blankie. he loves to spread it out and lay on it and
it has to come out of the crib when he's done sleeping or napping.
September
28, 1982
I've
just been reading back in my journal.
I've written on this date 3 years in a row, 1980, 1981, 1982. It's interesting to see how my feelings and
thoughts have changed. I've decided that there just aren't enough hours in the
day to do all the things I need and want to do.
I'm so tired every night. I need
to sew a bunch of things, and crochet a bunch, plus read the scriptures and
church books and do genealogy and baby books and flanne lboard characters and
this and that and it never ends!!!
Today Zachary is 1 year old! He has grown so much. This year has passed so fast. I remember last year I wanted him to grow so
fast, and I guess I still do. I'm tired
of babies and all the work it entails.
No, I shouldn't say THAT. I love
my kids, and it's hard when they are little, but I shouldn't wish mine and
their lives away. It's been said that
these are the best years of my life.
Raising babies to follow Heavenly Father is hard. Sometimes it almost seem impossible!
Zac
got these things for his birthday.
Mom
and Dad - keds, pants, tupperware truck
Amanda
- Nerf football
Joni
and Kerry - Stacking cups and rings
Grandpa
and Grandma Dickson - 2 shirts
Grandpa
and Grandma Rich - Hotwheels case and 3 cars and shirt
I'm
beat, I guess I'll read the scriptures and go to bed!
Dear
Zac,
I
decided to write you a letter on your 1st birthday. I don't know when you will ever read
this. I know you will be much
older. Maybe even not until you are a
grown man. You are so precious now. You
are about 2 1/2 feet tall and about 25-30 pounds. Your hair is blonde! blonde! blonde! It's
almost white. You love Amanda so
much. You always try to kiss her and
play with her toys. Sometimes she gets
mad at you, but most of the time she calls you her "Buddy Boy" I hope you and her will be close as you both
grow up. When you read this, you
probably will have read the rest of my journal.
I have made ALLOT of mistakes and allot of my personal feeling are in
this book. I hope that you can see
through my weaknesses and know that I love our Heavenly Father and this church
and I want to be with you and Amanda and your big sister Ambure you never knew,
and your dad FOREVER. I know that this
can only be accomplished by living the commandments and being sealed in the
temple. Everyday I pray that someday our
family may be able to go through the temple and be sealed together
FOREVER. Zac I hope that I have raised
you righteously and that you may go on a mission and find a girl that is worthy
and both you and her can go through the temple.
I LOVE YOU - YOU ARE MY ONLY SON AT THIS TIME. I HAVE GREAT HOPES AND EXPECTATIONS FOR YOU.
Please love me as you grow older. I know
your teenage years may be hard. Mine
were TERRIBLE. I hope you will never say
that you HATE ME. I will ALWAYS love you
NO MATTER WHAT.
Love,
Your
mom - Gwen Dickson Rich (Age 21 years)
