We
went and got wood last night up in the Uinta's. I have never spent a more miserable
night. Zac and I slept together in one sleeping
bag with two blankets. The ground wasn't
too level and it was really bumpy. We
slept in dad's tent. I got really cold. I was praying for the dawn. I didn't get much sleep. (Zac also peed
all over me) We got a nice load of
wood on the trailer, and not a great lot on the truck because the tire was
low. It blew out just in Evanston, and
we changed to the spare. Kerry got a good load, and so did Ben. They cut all the trees down Monday night
except two. We've got a really good area
for getting wood. I don't know if I'll
go again though. Rog and I didn't get
along too well. It seems as though
everything is going fine, and then I get upset at something, usually the
kids. Today it was because they spilled
a pop in the tent. I really blew
up. Rog made some comment to which I
retorted, and then he said he never wanted me or the kids to go get wood
again. You know I get really upset at
things and blow up. and then it's over and I'm sorry and I feel bad and I want
to be forgiven. But Rog holds a grudge,
and so I get the silent treatment for a couple of days or more. At first this
doesn't bother me when I'm still mad.
Then after awhile I want him to talk to me normal, and not look through
me, and he knows I hate it, so he is so remote and silent to me. I know I have a bad temper and I fly off the
handle, and I know I need to control it better.
But you know what Rog will never figure out? What I need most when I'm so upset and onry
is a kiss and a hug and a kiss on my forehead and a whisper in my ear saying
it's okay, I love you, settle it
down. I don't think that would be him
cowing down to me and kissing my but, and jumping when I say jump or being brow
beat. That's just what I need. You know I was thinking maybe I should leave
this out for Rog to see so he will talk to me again. I know how I feel, but you know what? I won't leave it out, because he doesn't
care. And it wouldn't matter. We are so far apart sometimes. I have to work tomorrow and Thursday. The fair is this week. The kids are entering their rabbits. I'm scared to talk in church on Sunday. Oh how I wish I could learn to live what I
will preach.
August
5, 1987
Worked
all day today, and I've got to tomorrow too.
Rog still isn't speaking to me, and I'm not going to beg him either. It's miserable though, and lonely. What a marriage. Erika is going to the temple tomorrow to get
her endowments. Wonder if I'll ever get
there?
August
9, 1987
Today
is Mark's farewell at church. I'm
excited, but scared too. I have to talk,
and I'm kinda nervous. I was almost in a
panic this morning, but I feel better now.
I know God will help me and be with me so I won't be so frightened. But when I get thinking of all the crowd that
will be there and could be there, I get butterflies. Oh well, I guess I just
have to not look at all of them as they come in. Mark will go into the M.T.C. (Missionary
Training Center) on Wednesday. I guess I
should write my talk down so there will be a record of it:
I'm
happy to be here today, and I pray I'll be able to say the things that are in
my heart. I'm proud of Mark, and I know
it's the right decision for him to go on a mission. I know he'll be a great missionary. These past weeks since he's received his call
there has been a difference, an extra something you can't quite put your finger
on in him. He's happier, more
considerate and compassionate. I know I
like being around him more than I ever have before. I know it's our Heavenly Father's Spirit in
him and I know he's closer to Him than he has ever been before. We all know people like that, that have something about them, something
special, that we really look up to and would like to have in our lives. I believe it is because they're close to our
Heavenly Father, and they rely on Him and have developed a close and humble
relationship with Him. As I have read
through my journal this past year, and have relived the happy and sad times, I
find that when I was happiest and optimistic and everything was going great,
was when I was getting up a little earlier and reading the scriptures and
really talking to my Father in Heaven humbly and sincerely through prayer. And the times when I was sad and down and
everything seemed to be going wrong, I was not taking the time to really talk
to my Father in Heaven. I know this is
why the Lord instructed the prophets to keep records and why President Benson
has urged us to read the Book of Mormon daily.
Because we can see a whole civilization rise and fall. We can see when they are obeying God and
relying on Him and keeping close to Him they are prospering, and are a happy
and peaceful people. But as they become
proud and uplifted in their hearts, they forget their God and so they have to
be brought down to remember Him by wars and famine. Then they turn to Him
again. Sometimes as Latter-day saints we
might seem overwhelmed by all the things we know we should be doing. It is my testimony to you, that if you will
rely on our Heavenly Father and develop a close relationship with Him, where
you can go and talk to Him about anything and tell Him all your fears and
concerns and heartaches, He will help you and comfort you and all things will
be made easier, and you will be happier and joyful. I would like to thank my family and my
friends and teachers who have helped me to know my Heavenly Father and His love
for me. I will be eternally thankful. I
pray each of us will be able to develop our own personal relationship with
God. I say these things in the name of
Jesus Christ Amen.
August
12, 1987
Today
was a very special day! We took Mark
down to the M.T.C. It was great! You
could really feel the spirit. I really
didn't think it was too sad. It was
exciting! Bridger and Diane Call drove
Mark, Mom and Dad, and Tonya in their van.
Mandy, Zac, and I drove down with Erika.
There were 419 missionaries that reported today at the M.T.C. 18 of them would be learning Japanese. It was so exciting! I'm so proud of Mark! He has changed so much. I'm so proud!
He looked so handsome and valiant today.
Just like Nephi and Moroni. His prayer he received Tuesday night when he was set apart by
President Tonks was so special! Also,
his President down at the MTC is the greatest.
George Durrant. He spoke at my
Baccalaureate in 1979, and I have a book written by him. "Someone Special Staring
YOUth" Sunday at church, Mark's
farewell went really nice. Tonya gave
the opening prayer. I talked next, then
Bridger Call. Then Zac, Amanda, Jason
and Krista and Jennifer Preece, Luke and Sara Adams, and Stormy Tonks all sang "I
Am A Child Of God" Then Mom talked
on Example, and then Dad talked. Then
Jeannette Jones sang "The Greatest Gift The World Has Known" Then Elder Mark Dickson talked. He spoke so well, and so powerfully. My heart swells with pride!
August
19, 1987 - letter from Terri Frost
Dear
Gwen, Hello, how is everybody doing?
Fine I hope. We are both just
great. Pat left for an operation out in the field for about 7 days, so I'm all
by myself! I can handle the daytime cuz
he is gone in the daytime anyway. I am
going to have to find something to keep me busy at night though. I clean the house, do the wash, and keep up
on my soaps during the day. At night we
go somewhere. Now, who knows. I'm certainly not going to the movie by
myself! Well, we are still what you
would call "furniture-less"
Yes, I sit on the floor with my pillow under my butt to watch
television! We are working on getting a
couch and stuff though. So are the kids
ready for school? How is Zach? Is he excited for kindergarten? Did you get your school shopping done? I might have to convince Pat that he should
take me shopping for school clothes, even though I don't go to school. (Think it will work?) We went to the beach a couple times last
week, and we had lots of fun. We have
fun together, no matter where we are or what we are doing anyway! Well, before I begin a book, I will let your
eyes rest for now. Give Roger and the
kids our love! Love ya lots, Terri Pat says hello!
August
19, 1987 - Letter from Mark
Rog,
Gwen, Zac and Mandy, How is everything?
Thanks for the letters everyone!! They were all great. It is great to get letters and I expect to
get more from you guys!! The MTC is
really fun. It is hard work and I get
frustrated sometimes, but I'm doing fine.;
This last week has gone very, very fast.
We work hard, but have allot of fun also. My Japanese is coming along. I am pretty smart you know!! Just joking.
I am doing really well. I've
worked hard and study allot. The food
isn't bad either like they say. I will
feel it quite an accomplishment when I finally do make it to Nihon (Leave
October 13th) We are quite secluded
here. No weather information, sports,
nothing, but we're too busy too care.
Have great people here and have fun.
Have made lots of friends. How is
everything? When does school start? When is the operation? How did baseball team do? How about St. Louis? My prediction: N.Y. Mets by 2 games in October. Gotta run.
I love you guys. Write back
quickly. Dickson Cho'ro'
August
22, 1987
It's
Saturday night and everyone's in bed but me.
I can't sleep. And there's
nothing good on TV. My house is clean,
so here I am! Tomorrow will be easy at
Primary. I won't have to do anything because it was my month for the bulletin
board and it's done. Next month I
conduct again, so maybe I'll prepare for it.
I really like my job in the Primary.
It has helped me allot. Mark has
written, and he is doing great at the MTC.
He is in the top of his class. He
is smart like me (HA-HA) Me and Rog
and the kids hauled a bunch of wood in today.
We need to get moving, because his operation's only 3 weeks away. On the 28th of September on Zac's birthday,
Rog gets his teeth all pulled and new dentures put in. I am enjoying my work now more than I ever
have. We are doing BOE's (Board of
Equalizations) and I have allot of responsibility. Erika has moved back to Salt Lake City, and
is ready to start teaching 2nd grade Monday.
The kids are excited to go back to school also. Amanda will be in 2nd grade, and Zac in
Kindergarten. Zac also started soccer
today too. They are growing up so fast!
Me, I'm doing okay I guess, ups and downs as usual. We start Calvin Stephen's classes again on
September 2nd and I am looking forward to them.
Got a letter from Terri (Linda's daughter) today, and she's doing
fine. Well, so much for tomorrow being
easy! Lori Birt just called and asked me
to conduct for her!
August
22, 1987
Dearest
Gwen & family, (my most faithful letter writer) along with mom, dad, Tonya
Erika, Bridger, and Monica too! How is
everything? Just received yours and
dad's letter. Everybody is amazed at all
the letters I receive, but no one is more happier than I to get one, so I
deserve them. Right? Everything is going fine. I think my P-day is the busiest of all. I still have to wash, study, eat, write
letters, and go to class. I've already
been to the temple and to the mall with Chipman Cho'ro'. The bank needs it's best two players back,
huh? Just joking. When is your operation Rog? I don't envy the EXTREME pain you're going to
be in! Another joke. It probably won't even hurt. Another joke. It will probably be a little bit
painful. That is too bad about Dennis'
girlfriend. (April Nelson, who eventually married Dennis (then they got
divorced later because of Dennis’s infidelity) had a tumor, and had to have a
hysterectomy before she even had any kids) I feel sorry for him and
her. I don't know Gary Stewart? (Gary
Stewart is a boy I (Gwen) went to school with, who committed suicide. He was hurt in a bicycle/car accident when we
were in the 4th grade. He was hurt
terribly bad. And has had a lot of
physical/mental handicaps since that time)
Zac, when does school start?
Mandy, how smart are you now? Can
you read the newspaper yet? My Nihongo
is coming along. I need to keep
trying. Sometimes it's frustrating. I write terrible as you can see, but I'm
hurrying. I've gotta hurry. Take care and I"ll see ya soon. Keep the tegami's coming Love, Mark
August
23, 1987 - Letter from Brenda
Roger,
Gwen and kids, Hi! Sorry I haven't
written since we came home, but I've been busy resting my poor old hands before
they have to start writing all sorts of things for school. We start the 31st this year, instead of the
8th of September. What a bummer,
huh? I am going to take Driver's Ed. the
month of September. So you better stay
off the road for awhile. Ha HA! I am going to do Seminary too. It starts at 6:00 a.m. in the morning before
school. This year, one of the people
that lives by us is teaching it at their house for our branch only. The Child's come home to Utah around the 20th of
October, instead of the 1st of November.
That's great about the kid's rabbits!
Tell them I said Hi, and for them to mind their mom and dad. It pays to mind, believe me! Well, I guess I'll close for now. Write when you can. Love, Brenda.
August
27, 1987
Morning-
Well, the kids have started school.
Amanda is in 2nd grade and her teacher is Dorothy Little. Zac is in Kindergarten, his teacher is Evelyn
Stevens. They both like it allot! Zac was so cute yesterday. He was so excited, and he was so spiffed up
and looking forward to school. He didn't
hold my hand as we were walking towards the school, but when we got inside the
school he grabbed my hand and said, "Mom, I'm scared". But as soon as we got in his class, he was
right at home. He has allot of his
friends in his class. Jay Golden (Jonathan) Turner, Ladd Peterson,
Brett Anderton, Broc Durrant, and Kristen Call.
Night-
I've just read through most of my journal.
Boy what a joke! Some of it's
really good, and sometimes I sound really dorky. I guess it would be pretty hard to understand
for someone who's reading it, but I hope you won't judge me too harshly. I have changed over the years as you can see. But I don't feel this book tells all of me,
because somethings are too private to write, and I don't want to share
them. But God know me and that's all
that counts.
August
29, 1987 - Letter from Mark
Dear
Mandy, How are you? I am doing
fine. How is school? How is Mr. Caron? (Manda liked a Caron kid) I don't have any girlfriend here. Just boyfriends. Can you do any math yet? Can you work this problem 4 - 2 = ?
9 + 4 = ? If you can, you're
smart, but if you can't you'll probably learn soon. Do you and Zac still have boxing
matches? Well, I have to hurry, cause I
have to do my wash. I'm glad that you
and Zac are my relatives. Tell your mom
to keep writing letters about all the gossip.
Tell your dad that the Mets are coming on. See ya, Love, Mark Dickson Cho'ro'
August
29, 1987 - Letter from Mark
Dear
Zac, How is everything? Are you still making jumps for your
bike? How is your friend Corky? Do you still like that one girl? Well, I'm having a good time here and wish I
could see you. I have new friends now who
would think you're cool. Are you excited
to be in kindergarten? You probably are
studying pretty hard. My kindergarten teacher was Ms. Compton. I'm sorry my letter is so short, but I have
to hurry. See you at the airport if you
can make it. Tell your mom and dad Hi,
and thanks for the letters. Love Dickson
Cho'ro
August
29, 1987 - Letter from Darrin
Dear
Rog, Gwen, and Mandy and Zac, How you guys been doing? Sorry about not writing. The reason I didn't write is because I didn't
want to write to whimp Rog (ha-ha) How are
you Mandy and Zac? Zac are you still
saving cans? Have you guys started school
yet? I start school Monday the 31st. When I get back Zac, we will go hunting birds
up on your hill behind your house, okay?
Well Rog, have you and Gwen been working hard lately? When are you getting your knee operated on? I can't wait until we get back home
for good, I will be able to hunt deer and elk and everything. And I will be able to drive too. Only 10 more months, not even a year left on
this island. Brenda is going to start
driving sometime next month, and if everyone want to stay alive, they better
stay off the sidewalks. (ha-ha) Terri and Pat called us last night to tell my
dad Happy B-day, and they talked to us for about a half-hour. Well, today we are just sitting here during a
typhoon and waiting for it to pass over.
Well, I better go for now so I will see you in 10 months. I love and miss all of you guys. Take care of yourselves, and take care of
your knee, Rog!! Love, Darrin Write soon.
(then at the bottom of his letter, Darrin drew a picture of a street and a sidewalk, with a car driving down the sidewalk hitting the pedestrians. He had everything labeled, and of course, Brenda was driving. He had written off to the side: Stay off the sidewalks when Brenda is near!)
(then at the bottom of his letter, Darrin drew a picture of a street and a sidewalk, with a car driving down the sidewalk hitting the pedestrians. He had everything labeled, and of course, Brenda was driving. He had written off to the side: Stay off the sidewalks when Brenda is near!)
August
31, 1987
This
month has sure gone by fast. Rog's
operation will be here before you know it.
I feel good. I have been walking
and exercising. The kids are enjoying
school. I am working allot lately. I got
a raise to $5.29 per hour. (I look back on this wage now, and I laugh. I think I started at maybe $4.85 per hour one
year prior. I had allot of
responsibility, and was only making a pittance.
It was this way until 1990, when I finally got up to seven
something. This was after I took my
appraisal courses.)
