4
- Pour front porch steps
5
- Landon's 1st birthday
9
- dedication?
17-28
Swimming lessons
19
- Mom and dad leave for California?
Zac
went to the dentist allot this month?
We
were watering at dad's while they were gone
29
- Mom and dad got home from Calif.
July
4, 1989
Landon
will be a year old tomorrow. Hard to
believe. He walks a few steps, but still
mostly crawls. He climbs on things and
loves to play the piano. He can say
ki-ki for Kitty, and da-da and ma-ma. He
is so sweet, and hasn't been sick hardly at all this past year. I cut his hair last weeks on the sides. He looks like I did when I was a baby. Linda and Bruce have gone back to
Okinawa. Terri and Pat are staying in
their home. We got a new garage door,
and front steps poured. They are pouring
the steps in the garage today. The lawn
is looking fairly good. We are having a bar-B-Q for Landon's birthday
tomorrow. Not much celebrating today for
the 4th. Rog and I are getting along
better. I have lost about 10 pounds, and
a bunch of inches. I'll keep going!
July
8, 1989
Landon's
birthday went great, although he had the flu that night and the next day. I think he's pretty much over it now. He's walking more and more. He weighs 21 pounds and is 30 inches
long. His iron level is back up. He got a few outfits, 3 shorts, 1 tank top, 2
shorts, cobbler bench and truck and tub toy and a onesie and $10.00 and a
cabbage patch doll.
July
10, 1989
Landon
still has the diarrhea. Walking quite a
bit now. Zac is playing little league
baseball. He's really quite good, and
Amanda still has her horse 4-H which she loves.
A week from today, we'll go down to the all horse parade in Salt Lake
City. (This didn't happen - I don't know why) I completed all 4 appraiser
courses, and am now a certified appraiser.
July
11, 1989
I
still have my cold, and don't want to take anything for it because I might be
pregnant. Accidently? In a way I hope I am, because I think there's
another one up there for us and if it doesn't happen on accident, it never
will. We are so broke. Just bought a new garage door $812.00 and
charged it on VISA. (I have a note, that we were still paying on it in
November of 1991) Also, Jim Wiscombe wants to redo a fence $600.00 (our
share) and Uncle Don's getting a new roof on his barn $600.00. I might be getting a raise soon, because I am
a certified appraiser, to $9.12 per
hour, compared to the $5.43 I'm getting right now. ( I only got raised up to$7.78 per hour)
July
17, 1989 (Postcard from Erika)
Dear
Kids, This is a picture of my favorite pageant scene. (Jesus Christ teaching the little children of ancient America)
If you were here, you would probably
be in this scene - and you would LOVE it!
I am on of twenty-one "Harvest Dancers", and I am going to be
in the Yearning scene and Processional with most everyone else. I love you, and wish you could be here with
me. It is fantastic! The Church Is True! Love, Erika
July
19, 1989
I'm
not pregnant. I am really low
tonight. All the kids are in bed and
Roger just left for work. Amanda and I
talked allot tonight. She is not happy
at all. She's like me. She can put up a front most of the time, but
basically she's not happy. She doesn't
like living up here on the hill. All there
are, are ticks and sagebrush and bugs and no grass and nothing is level. She doesn't have a sister, and is sad Ambure
and Tonya died. She doesn't like to be
around Zac. He bugs her and makes her
mad. She says she's so FAT! Her legs and arms and stomach, she says, and
she's getting fatter and she's going to look ugly in a swimming suit. She feels lonely and she wants to be
righteous, but it's hard to in our family.
She wants to go to heaven, but she knows she won't, being in our
family. She wishes we were never sealed
so we would still have something to hope for.
She is really depressed, and I don't know what to do. Allot of her problem, was that she was really
tired, but I know they are her true feelings.
They are a mirror of mine. I told
Roger about them and he just sits there.
I don't know what he thinks. I
feel he doesn't care. He is a good
provider for us and he works hard, but I feel he doesn't love me or care for
me. Has our love died? All the time I am wishing for a new life, a
change, something to make me happier.
Maybe he is too. But then if he
would just hold me or reach out with a smile of understanding or comfort or
thanks or praise. I can't seem to reach
out to him and make the first move. It
seems useless, futile, and I just bury my hurt inside. Tonight I told him that I wished he would say
"Gwen, I know our family needs to be happier and we, me and you, need to
try hard together to make it so. We need
to have family home evening and family prayers and scripture reading. Let's work together on these things and help
the kids and show our love more and really try to be a happy family." And you know what he did? He just stared at me without a word. Until he finally said, "I know we need
to do something!?!" But that was
all. It stops there. There's no use going into it with him
anymore. My own spirituality and
relationship with God has fallen dramatically, and I have no room to blame
him. But I can't do this alone! I feel so lost and I can't even pray. What happened? What can we do? We can't talk! I've thought about marriage counseling or
psychiatric help for me or talking to the bishop. I sometimes just want out! But then I think of the kids. But really, could it be any worse? I feel our family is falling apart. I can't hold it together alone. I feel like I'm drowning. Help me.
July 20, 1989 (Postcard from Mom and Dad)
Dear
Family, The weather is beautiful, but
hot 115 degrees in Las Vegas. It broke
another record. We stopped at the St.
George temple yesterday, and went through a session. It was really nice. We will soon be in California where we will
mail this card. Hope everything is fine
at home, and that your water is fixed.
Take care of yourselves. Love,
Grandma and Grandpa Dickson
July 1989
Dear
Family, Saw
the ocean as we were driving up to Santa Clara, but didn't go to it. We are enjoying this area, but taking it
easy. Went to "Honey, I Shrunk The
Kids" last night. Will see Batman
or Star Trek V tonight. We miss you all,
and wish you were here with us. We
haven't tried the swimming pool out yet.
See you in a few days. Love
Grandma and Grandpa Dickson
July
21, 1989
The
water is finally cleaned up in the well.
Rog and I still disagree as to how to water the lawn. I don't care anymore. Just another Friday. I have to work this morning. Think I might take Zac down this afternoon
and get his glasses fixed and re-order new lenses. They are pretty hammered. I think that's part of his reading
problem. Also, I need to pick up that
aerobic video from T.I.P. I have lost
approximately 15 pounds since April 8th.
I am getting over my cold and feel much better. Landon still has diarrhea. Rog has to go back to work tonight, even
though it's his night off. Things are
still not right between us. There was an
article on marriage counseling in the paper last night. I think we should check into it. Mom and dad are in California for Bob and Judy Boliver's wedding. They will come
home the 29th of July, and leave for Japan on August 2nd, and come home with
Mark on August 14th. We're watering at
their place and feeding Duchess and watering flowers. Sometimes I think I shouldn't write my
feelings down. They might be upsetting
to some people besides me. Oh well, I'll
just go on. Now where have I heard that
before?
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