May
1 - cookout?
10 - Zac school fair (house he built)
10- Landon Centennial program
13 - Landon field trip to see his pen pal
15 - Zac fiberotomy
18 - Clean Grandma Tonks' yard
22 - Fieldtrip to Schumachers - Landon
25 - Got a goat "Moe"
25 - Zac's steer died.
28 - Zac on the Honor Roll - 8th grade
29 - Landon's dance program (2nd grade)
30 - Last day of school
30,31 Manda went camping up at Tenielle's trailers
Our
trip to Las Vegas in Spring of 1996
May
5, 1996
We
returned yesterday from our trip to Las Vegas.
We left on Tuesday the 30th of April and returned on the 4th of
May. We (Roger, Mandy and I) went with
Ben and LuAnn Rich, Bruce and Linda Frost, Randy and Lynette Hartman, their
children, Heath, Brooke and Sommer. Joni
and Kerry Porter came down on the 1st of May and returned early in the morning
of the 4th of May. We flew down on Delta airlines. Our flight out of Salt Lake City left about
11:30 a.m., and we returned from Las Vegas about 1:15 p.m. We stayed at the Excalibur Hotel and Casino.
April
30, 1996 (Tuesday) We got there and took a shuttle from the
airport to the Excalibur. After checking
in we walked around the Excalibur for awhile, and then went over to the MGM
Grand Hotel and walked through it and
walked clear to the back to where the Grand Adventures Theme Park
is. We also went to the Luxor. We walked down to Treasure Island and caught
the tail end of the Pirate Show. Rode trolley
back and went to bed.
May
1, 1996 (Wednesday) Rog, me, and Mandy
took a trolley to Circus Circus and rode two rides. Caught trolley back to Caesar's Palace and
the Forum. Ate at Planet Hollywood,
watched the statue show. Watched the
Pirate Show at Treasure Island. Saw the
Olympic torch being carried down the "Strip" Went to Harrah's, caught trolley back.
May
2, 1996 (Thursday) Went to MGM Grand Adventures, swimming at
Excalibur, messed around Excalibur, motion rides, etc.
May
3, 1996 (Friday) Went to Stratosphere by
taxi. Went back to hotel and watched
movies. Twelve Monkies and Dead Men
Walking. Ate at the King Arthur's
Tournament that night.
May
4, 1996 (Saturday) Went home.
June
1 - June show
3
- Ground breaking ceremony at Holnam (for new expansion)
4
- Zac started working for Marv Dawson (He worked until football started in
August, and then went back after wrestling, on February 3, 1997)
5
- Lagoon (County Officials Day)
6
- Pack meeting - Landon
7
- Landon's baseball starts
8
- Rog and Zac fix panels at fairgrounds
9
- Water is 16 1/4 feet down our wet well,
Dryfarm
hay 195 bales
Grass
300 bales
Orson's
295 bales
11
- Meeting on the bond issue for the library at the Highland office building
11
- Landon ball game at Mt. Green.
Landon's coaches are Stan Nielsen and (
) Hunsaker.
13
- Meeting at Lion's Lodge on the bond issue for the library
17
- Roger ditch meeting
18-21
Assessor's Summer workshop in Kanab
21
- Water is 14 ft. down pipe in wet well
23
- Water is 10 ft. down
23,25
Zac farm safety class
27
- Zac ortho, get braces off
28
- UAC board meeting in Richfield Utah, toured jail
2,
28,29 Morgala Days Rodeo
July
1
- Landon starts swimming lessons at Gwen Francis' pool
1
- Lee and Veloy leave for California
2
- Landon's interview with Bishop for baptism
5
- Landon's 8th birthday
6
- Landon's baptism
6
- Mom and dad back from California
8
- Kamp Kiesel (Landon - cubscouts)
9
- Shower for Amy (Larry's wife) at Aunt Pam's
8-12
Zac to Scout camp out at Vernal and Flaming Gorge
12
- Erika has JABA (Bryan)
13
- work up to Grandma Tonks
17
- Put cows in field
19
- Larry and Amy get married
20
- Demo Derby
21
- Uncle Blaine died
24
- Party at mom's
24
- Mandy goes to St. George on bus to visit Tami Carlos who is living there with her mother
26,27,28
We go to Jackson Hole with the Prescott's
29
- Amanda runs away from home to Oceanside California
30
- The absolute worst day of our lives, we finally find Amanda, and fly down to
get her on the last flight (9:30) to San Diego.
Sleep at a motel, fly out at 8:30 in the morning to come home.
August
Orson's
155 bales
1
- Steer up to fairgrounds
2
- Show steers
3
- Steer sale
5
- Preconditioning football starts for Zac
10
- Tend Erika's kids, she's got a reunion
12
- County party at Cherry Hills
14
- Registration for High school for Mandy and Zac
15
- Mary Ann's (my cousin) Tyler is killed in bicycle accident
(Mom
and dad are gone on vacation)
17
- Ben's 70th birthday party
21
- School starts
24
- Maroon and White Scrimmage
24
- Landon starts football (Mitey Mites - Kaysville)
27
- Me physical
August
15, 1996
(This is a letter I wrote to my cousin Mary Ann, (Uncle Larry's daughter) (Uncle Larry is my mom's brother) when her 8 year old son Tyler was killed in a bicyle/car accident on August 15, 1996)
Dear
Mary, I
just wanted to tell you again, how sorry I am about Tyler. Even though we don't see each other that
often, the times we have gotten together over the years, I have noticed what a
good mother you are to your children. I
know that Heavenly Father knows this too, and I know you will be able to see
and raise Tyler again someday. I know
that our children, Ambure and Tyler, were too perfect to live on this
earth. They came to earth and completed
their missions. They don't have to go
through all the pain and suffering of this world. I know this doesn't make it any easier to let
them go, and to know that we won't be able to see them again for awhile. Sometimes, the only comfort you can have
right now, is knowing that Tyler isn't in any pain or hurt or sorrow. Time passes in heaven so fast, and for him,
it will only seem like a short while until he is with his mom again. Like I told you the other night on the phone,
time does heal the awful pain you are feeling now. You won't forget him, ever, but in
time, you won't feel the empty, hopeless way you are feeling now. It has been almost 18 years since we lost
Ambure. It took awhile, but I can now
look back without any pain at all, just a sadness and regret that it
happened. I have people tell me that
they can't believe I could have survived losing a child, and that they could
never cope with that. I guess you cope
with what you have to, huh? There are
different ways of grieving, Mary. Don't
let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong. Everybody grieves differently. If you need to talk to a family counselor,
don't be afraid to do that either. Also,
your kids, maybe especially Mike, might really have a hard time with this. When my sister Tonya died, my Mandy, who is
now 16 years old, was 8 at the time. She
took it really hard, and looking back now, I wish we would have taken her hurt
and anger more seriously, and got her some help. I don't mean to tell you what to do, just
maybe some things to watch for. I hope
you don't think I'm butting in. I just
want to help. Take care, and if you ever
just need to talk, please call me.
Sometimes it just helps to have a shoulder to cry on.
Love, Gwen
August
15, 1996 (postcard from Mom and Dad on vacation)
Dear
Rich Family, We
climbed down to these ruins (Anasazi cliff dwellings) today. In fact we spent 12 hours seeing just about
all there was to see at the Park. (Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado)
We saw 2 three-point deer while waiting to buy tickets. The velvet was still on their horns. We miss all of you, but with the time going
by so fast we will be home before you know it.
Love Grandma and Grandpa.
August
20, 1996
I've
been putting off writing in my journal.
It seems there is too much to catch up on. The kids start school tomorrow. Zac will be in 9th grade, Manda will be a
Junior, and Landon will be in 3rd grade.
Landon has Mrs. Holman for a teacher. I
hope it goes okay. I'm tired all the
time. I need to talk to Dr. McClellan,
and see if he will give me those new diet pills everyone is on. Mandy ran away on July 30, 1996 to
California. It cost us over $800.00 to
get her home. Rog and I flew down and
got her and flew back. We are going to
counseling. Sometimes I think it's all
such a joke. My life that is. I have allot of bitter feelings towards Mandy
and Roger both. We have found out that
Mandy drinks, (we knew that, but now I find out that she smokes! That just about kills me. Apparently she
met this guy, Tim Fraser, on the bus to visit Tami on the 24th of July. He's 22, according to her. He has called a few times. Sounds mostly like a bum to me. He had a mohawk, and tattoo clear across his
chest. She says, she'll
never be what I want her to be, so screw it!
All I want for her is to be happy, and she's definitely not that around
me. She says that all I've said to her
since she ran away, is I love you this, and I love you that, and that she's
sick of hearing it, and how can I make up for 16 years of not showing her I
love you. Boy, what a failure I must
be. Well I can guarantee that she won't
ever have to hear me say those three words to her again. Boy what a terrible mom I
am. Sometimes I just think if I went
away, it would be better for the whole family. I'm so tired all the time. Tired of it
ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August
21, 1996
Well
the kids started back to school today.
They all seemed pretty excited. Zac was probably the most nervous,
starting into High School. I hope the
day went well for all of them. I hope Manda doesn't sluff, sluff, sluff all
the time. I hope she pulls her head out
and realizes that she needs to get with it.
Zac I don't worry about, except that he will get in with the wrong crowd
and end up smoking like Rog and Mandy.
Landon has his first football game Saturday at 3:30 with Kaysville. Rog doesn't really like his coaches at all,
but he never puts forth any effort to coach, so I say live with it. He says it's because of his job, but he could
do it if he really wanted to, with some help from others. It's just a cop out as far as I'm
concerned. Zac likes football too. He'll be on the Freshman team. Manda?
Well what can I say about her? We
don't talk much. Neither one of us likes
each other very much. I get so depressed
sometimes.
August
23, 1996
Today
we went out to the Mt. Green area again and did the reappraisal. An article was in the paper (The Blab) that I
wrote about the Mt. Green reappraisal. I
wish I could get on up at Summit County, flexible hours, less hours, more pay,
same benefits, less stress and pressure.
I need to talk to Barbara Kresser, the Summit County Assessor about
it. Mandy and I probably said less than
25 words to each other today. She is out
tonight with friends. I think she is
going to die like Tonya did. I feel
better tonight that I did last night. I
am really tired though. I'm going to Dr.
McClellan next Tuesday. I want to get
on those diet pills. I need to lose
about 80 pounds. Roger is watching
bull-riding on TV, and the boys are in bed.
Who knows when Mandy will be home.
She said 12 or 1. It is so
depressing. I wish she wouldn't do what
she does, or hang out with who she hangs out with. I don't want to change her, but I guess maybe
I do. She always says, "I'll never
be the kind of daughter you want me to be!" I don't want her to be a Molly Mormon like
_________ and __________, but WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY does she have to be a
radical, smoking, drinking, wild partier????
It is my fault I know. Somehow it
just is. I haven't been the kind of mom
I should. I have rejected the Lord one
too many times. And now my kids are
suffering for it. Rog doesn't ever want
to talk about it. He buries his head in
the sand really good. I wonder sometimes
what would have happened if we hadn't gotten married. I was thinking today, that if I had it to do
over again, I wouldn't have any kids at all. I don't think, even if I knew all that I knew
now, that it would change anything about how I have been, and how I have raised
my kids. I screwed up and AM screwing up
big time. I just should have never had
any kids. I have messed them up real
bad. I hope the Lord will blame me, and
not them.
August
24, 1996
Zac
and Landon both had their first football games.
Landon played at Kaysville at 3:30.
They lost 12 to 13. They played a
good game for their first time. Landon
got to play almost all of the time. I
felt bad for the boys who didn't get to play as much. That is what we used to go through with Zac
when he was littler. Zac spent all day
doing football stuff. He sold Trojan
Gold Cards this morning, and then had a football barbecue. He played on the Freshman team tonight at 6
p.m. in the Maroon and White Scrimmage.
He was on the Maroon team and they won.
He played offense and defense. He
is on the line and does a great job. I
video taped both of the games. Manda
worked today for the first time since she ran away. I wonder how it went for her. Of course, we haven't talked to her. She left a note saying she was going out...
and won't be home until 12:30 or 1 a.m.
She is going downhill. I wish she
could pull it out. It's too bad that she
will be totally addicted to cigarettes, and if she's anything like her dad,
she'll never be able to quit the habit.
It just makes me sick, and I blame Rog.
I can't help it. It totally ticks
me off!!
August
30, 1996
Well,
one month ago today, we were in San Diego, picking up Manda from her little
running away episode. This last month
has been really rough. We are more in
debt now than ever before. Our Visa is maxed totally out with airplane ticket
bills, and it seems we owe everybody something.
And to top it off, I bought a camper tonight for $600.00. My car bill from Wally's was $384.00. It needed new (2) tires and a new muffler,
and they had to rebuild the tail pipe.
Manda is out tonight with her friends, down at
the Madsen place. Roger is working late
tonight at the bakery. Bread doesn't get
out till 11 p.m. He'll probably be home
about 12:30 or so. Don't know WHEN Manda
will be home. Jill Boydstun called her
last night, and Katie quit, so she will be going back to work at the library sooner than she
thought. That is good. Supposedly Bruce will have the car finished
this weekend. This is the one we are
buying for Manda, and she will supposedly pay us back?!?!?!? Wait and see!
Zac played good ball last night.
Their first game was against Grantsville. They lost in sudden death overtime. 6 to 0.
He starts on Offense. I'm glad he
gets to play. Some of the kids didn't
even get to play at all. Landon has his
second game tomorrow at 3:30 at Morgan.
I can't remember who he plays. I'm
going to see a psychologist tomorrow over at the clinic. I had an appointment with Dr. McClellen last
Monday. He gave me a complete physical,
and spent 1 1/2 hours with me. He did
the blood work, pap smear, breast exam, everything. He is really nice. I'll never go back to my gynecologist
again. I guess we are going to switch my
blood pressure medicine, as this Norvasc that I'm on now is making me retain
water. I have been on a water pill and
Potassium since Tuesday, but can see no improvement. Dr. McClellan wants me to double up on the
water pill and Potassium, and then next week when I run out of my prescription
for Norvasc, he will switch me to another pill for my high blood pressure. When he examined me, my temperature was 99.9,
and my white count was high when he checked my blood. I can't help but wonder if I have a terrible
disease, or cancer that I'm going to die from. I am really mixed
up. I guess that's what the psychologist
is for!!! Hope it will help me. I haven't had a Pepsi since Monday. And it hasn't killed me this week to give them
up. I wish I could just lose some
weight. Everybody and their dog is going
on this new diet pill now. I wish I could, but I can't until I get my blood pressure under
control. It was 140 over 110 when he
examined me Monday. Well, the boys are
in bed, Roger is still to work, Mandy is out partying, and I'm going to
bed. I'm beat!!!
